Aussies....

[i] OMG what an asshole, excuse the french lol, His mumma must be so proud of his intellectual not to mention sympathic capacity lol. What a bloody tree of knowledge lmao

M1SS_FIRE_N_ICE wrote:[i] OMG what an asshole, excuse the french lol, His mumma must be so proud of his intellectual not to mention sympathic capacity lol. What a bloody tree of knowledge lmao

umm, who is this responding to?

lj wrote:

M1SS_FIRE_N_ICE wrote:[i] OMG what an asshole, excuse the french lol, His mumma must be so proud of his intellectual not to mention sympathic capacity lol. What a bloody tree of knowledge lmao

umm, who is this responding to?

you??!!! hahahahaha

She's talking about the guy that wrote the article.

Brad wrote:She's talking about the guy that wrote the article.

oh.... yeah i think topr is a dick too!!!

Oh, I thought that was general knowledge?

[i] Thankyou Brad, yes i was refering to the article, lj would i ever speak of you in such an ill manner..???? OF COURSE NOT lol, Dont forget we got that date for the bunker, no renigging haha

lj wrote:

Brad wrote:She's talking about the guy that wrote the article.

oh.... yeah i think topr is a dick too!!!

QD turning on their own??? Things must really be bad at TOW.

Thought I'd revive this thread with an interesting email I received.
I can paste a few funny ones in here when I can be bothered too


VERY INTERESTING STUFF


In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only..Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.
 

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
 

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400

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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. In any given hour: 61,000

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:



Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?



A. Their birthplace

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?



A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?



A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?



A. All were invented by women.
 

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
 



A. Honey

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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?



A. Father's Day

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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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-

 

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

 

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009  when...
 



1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.



2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.



3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.



4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.



5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.



6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.



7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen



8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.



10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.



11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )



12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.



13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.



14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.



15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.



~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
 



NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.   Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

I got within 5cm

 
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.  'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals..'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and aske d if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his Billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...
 
*
 
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*
 
What's worse I bet you are now singing it to yourself!!!!!!

Mexican Words Of The Day


 

The teacher told Pepito to use the Following words in a sentence:
 
1. *Cheese*
Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.

 
 2. *Mushroom*
 When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.

 
3. *Shoulder*
My fren wants 2 become a citizen, but che didn't know how to read,
So I, shoulder.
   
4. *  Texas  *
When I'm not home, my fren always Texas me,
Che wonders where I am!
   
5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza.  
I got mine piece,then che got herpes.

 
 6. *July*  
Ju told me ju were going to tha store, but ju went to see sum guy. July to me!  Julyer!
   
7. *Rectum*  
I had 2 cars, but my wife rectum!
   
8. *Chicken*  
I was going to go to the store with my wife , but che said chicken go herself.
   
9. *Wheelchair*  
We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry wheelchair
   
10. *Chicken* *wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.
   
11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women.
I told her,  "Honey, harassment nothen to me.
   
12. *Bishop*  
My wife fell down the stair, so I had to pick the bishop.

 
13. *Body wash*  
I want to go to the club, but no body wash my kids.
   
14. *Budweiser*  
That women has a nice body, Budweiser face so ugly?